


Still Alive

by Moreena



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Temporary Character Death, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 14:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12961095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moreena/pseuds/Moreena
Summary: Quatre has been in a funk for three months since a mission gone wrong took Trowa from him.  Heero and Duo have something planned though.





	Still Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Photo prompt from SoftNocturne. That evil lady!. This is just quick, I wrote it in one night. Mistakes are my own, and any lack of cohesion is my own as well.  
> 

Three months. Three months of waking up in a thick fog-like state, and going through his daily routine as if he were crawling through broken glass. Half of his soul was gone, like there was a giant gaping hole in his chest that had been carved out with a spoon, leaving him like an empty pumpkin. Three months since Trowa had been killed in action while on a mission with Preventers. Heero had come back battered and bloodied, with Trowa’s dog tags. He’d wordlessly dropped them into Quatre’s lap with his head bowed low. It was all he’d been able to bring back. Quatre had clutched them in a fist and cried until he had nothing left within him. Une had tried to take the tags from him, and Quatre had snarled at her. Snapping and yelling at her, clutching them to his chest, because they were his. She’d left him alone after that.

Every day since they’d buried the empty coffin had been the same. Mechanical in motions, he ate and showered. Worked from the apartment unless something required his attention in the office. Nothing could bring him out of his funk, not even visits from Duo. While he knew he was depressed, he still managed to function. But, the life was gone from his eyes and his spirit was shattered. Duo came around often, to visit. To try and coax him outside of his apartment for other things. Dinner, bowling. Anything to get his mind away from the endless grief. 

 

He never brought Heero around though. Deep down in the basest part of his brain, Quatre blamed Heero for this. He’d been Trowa’s partner. Was supposed to watch his back and make sure he came back home. And, Quatre had to resent Duo and Heero a little bit. His partner had come home. Duo went to bed every night wrapped around his lover, while Quatre had an empty bed and a pillow that had long ago stopped smelling of Trowa.

 

-

 

It was a surprise when there was a knock on his door, and he opened it to reveal Heero standing there in jeans and a thick jacket. Quatre liked to think that he wasn’t as icy as he sounded, but Heero, ever the consummate soldier, didn’t even flinch at Quatre’s tone.

 

“What do you want Heero?” Quatre asked, once he’d let the other man in and the door had closed behind him.

 

Heero shuffled his feet for a moment, then leaned against the wall in the entryway, folding his arms over his chest. Even in Quatre’s apartment, he looked at home and not awkward. How he could be so collected, in the face of his ex-partner’s lover, who’d been killed on his watch, Quatre didn’t quite know. But, Heero managed it.

 

“Duo arranged a little vacation for you. On Preventer’s dime. He sent me to get you. He’s making sure everything’s set up,” Heero replied with a shrug.

 

Quatre was instantly on alert. If that were true, Duo would’ve sent Heero up to do things. Duo knew that Quatre didn’t want to be around the other man, and would never have subjected him to this. He’d hear him out though. This was the first time Heero had really spoken to him since the funeral.

 

“What do I need?” He figured he’d give them a chance. He really didn’t have anything left to lose at this point.

 

“Pack a bag with warm clothes and wear a jacket,” Heero instructed, pulling his phone from his jeans and starting to type, ending the conversation rather swiftly.

 

Quatre slipped into his room, sending Duo a text, asking about this while he threw things into a bag, wondering exactly what he was getting himself into. He didn’t expect a response, and he didn’t get one, even as he zipped his bag shut. He was already in jeans and a thick sweater, but he’d seen Heero’s clothes, so he dug in the closet and pulled out a heavy coat that was Trowa’s. It was brown leather, lined on the inside with flannel. It was huge on him, but he felt warm, and in some way, it was like Trowa was still with him.

 

He headed back out, and Heero approved of his clothing and tucked his phone away, leading the way out of the apartment. Quatre made sure everything was off before he grabbed his keys, locked the door and trailed after Heero like a silent ghost. They climbed into Heero’s black pickup truck, and Heero drove off, music too loud to really encourage conversation. Once they were on the highway, his phone went off with a text. Duo telling him to go with Heero. Quatre had to laugh a little since it was a bit late to tell him that now.

 

-

 

They arrived at a cabin in the woods some time in the afternoon. There was a green jeep sitting nearby, and smoke flowed out through the chimney. It was a quaint one story kind of thing, if you were into outdoor living. A porch with a wood pile on the side, two chairs, and a single floor cabin. It honestly was like something out of a postcard. Lots of land with no nearby neighbors. A place he’d want to live once he was done with being in the limelight, with a partner and a dog. The thought hurt, stabbed a knife deep into his heart that twisted as well, because he didn’t think he’d ever have that again. He didn’t know if he’d ever consider falling in love again.

 

“This is where I let you go and grab Duo,” Heero said, giving Quatre a look, then looking toward the cabin. 

 

As if summoned by the sound of his truck, Duo came out and hopped down the three steps in one go, jogging right for them. He pulled open the passenger door and grinned up at them.

 

“Glad you came along Q-bear. This is all yours for however long you want it. The weekend, the week. Two weeks. You just take the jeep back to the city when you’re ready to come home, yeah? And thank me later.” He took Quatre’s bag from Heero’s waiting hand and pulled Quatre from the truck when the blonde wasn’t expecting it.

 

Quatre yelped, but landed on his feet out of reflex, and caught the bag before it hit the ground. Duo jumped up and swung the door closed, grinning like a fool and waving. Heero threw the car into reverse, and they were gone in a small scattering of gravel. He looked up at the cabin and sighed. He’d make the most of it for the night then head back in the morning. 

 

Heading inside, he dropped his bag on the lone bed and looked around. Kitchen, bathroom, the bed. It was quite quaint if he had to say. Moving to the door at the other end of the house, he looked out through the window half of it, and his heart caught in his throat. It wasn’t the scenery that had his chest constricting, like he was being held by metal bands strapped across his chest. No, it was the figure standing outside in the back of the cabin. That height. That build. There was no one else it could be, even with his back turned towards him. He’d know that figure anywhere.

 

His feet carried him automatically. He shoved the door open so hard it clattered against the house. The figure in the yard half-turned towards him. It was him. Quatre ran. He ran and barreled into him hard enough to make the other manstumble backwards a few steps. It was him. Quatre stepped back a little, staring. He was crying without realizing it, tears streaming down his face like rivers.

 

He looked good, pretty normal. Maybe a little haggard in his face, and definitely scruffy, like he hadn’t had the chance to shave in a few days. He was layered in blue flannel with a corduroy jacket and jeans. His bangs were a little shorter than Quatre remembered, but it was him. It was Trowa.

 

“But, you’re dead. You died!” He managed to tumble out around his tears.

 

“I had to Quatre. I just had to,” he said in reply, voice soft in the hopes that Quatre would understand.

 

It had the opposite effect. Quatre turned angry as quick as snapping his fingers.

 

“Three months! I believed you dead, and you’ve been here, hiding! You monster! Do you even have a heart in your chest?!" Quatre yelled.

 

It might have been cruel of him to say, but it was true. If he’d faked his death to escape someone, and they needed to ensure that Quatre didn’t know, they’d done a good job. What hurt the most was knowing that his best friends knew. They knew and hadn’t breathed a word of it. That hurt almost as much as anything else. The betrayal of his friends, and his lover all in one huge swoop. To protect him from something, and then to change his life. 

 

“I mourned for you! I’ve grieved. I buried an empty coffin because I didn’t have a body!” Quatre shouted, unsure if the tears on his face were still from sadness or anger. “You heartless bastard, are you even alive? Or are you some kind of robot, like Heero was all those years ago?”

 

He was so emotionally charged that he’d been talking with his hands, swinging them around and he only realized it when Trowa captured his left hand and brought it to his chest, splaying his palm over Trowa’s heart. He could feel it beating in a steady pulse, like a drum. Unlike his own which felt like it was trying to explode out of his chest. His eyes were drawn to the sparkle around Trowa’s finger. Still wearing the engagement ring Quatre had bought for him last year.

 

“I’m still alive. Still yours. Things have changed, but I’m still here. We’ll get through this, no matter what it takes I’ll prove to you I’m back and I’m yours.”

 

Quatre’s fingers flexed on Trowa’s chest, and he looked up at him and spoke honestly. He was certain that they’d work past this, but he was going to make the other man work for it. Trowa had a lot of apologizing to do.

 

“I hate you and love you in the same breath Trowa Barton.”


End file.
